Wo-man
by Moon Faery
Summary: Note added. A vingret from the Virus, by Chris Jones. I took the challenge and ran with it! The Gundam Boys meet Tenchi Muyo! And Wufei has a problem!


Wo-man  
Rated PG  
02.14.01  
Moon Faery  
crystalmilleniu@bolt.com  
http://www.faerysgarden.asiansquare.com  
  
AN: *Sound Effects*   
'Thoughts'   
(Dates are in these things, but only in a part title)  
Why, you ask, did I do this? It's an easy question to answer: I love a   
challenge. Now you ask why I chose Gundam Wing? Because a friend of mine is   
planning on doing DBZ; Sailor Moon has already been done; and Gundam Wing is  
the only other anime I know well enough to mess with the timeline like this.   
One last question? What did I do with my medication?! This interview is over!  
::screen goes fuzzy::  
  
NEW NOTE ADDED ON BOTTOM!  
  
DISCLAIMERS: I don't own the Virus, Tenchi Muyo!, or Gundam Wing. Chris Jones   
created the Virus, which is the story THIS fic is based off of. You can find   
it at http://www.furinkan.net. I'm not sure who in Hades owns Tenchi Muyo!, but   
I do know that it isn't me. ^^V And Sunrise/Sotsu owns Gundam Wing.  
  
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~  
~Prologue~ ( July 12th, AC 195) Duo's Secret   
  
Heero looked over the report he had recently received from Dr. J.   
It was a copy of Oz's records involving a recent reconnaissance mission   
Duo had accepted. Something caught the Perfect Soldier's finely tuned   
eye, causing a slight twitch in his cheek that might have been mistaken   
for a smile by anyone who didn't know him.  
Duo entered their shared dorm, clothing sweaty and a basketball   
under his arm. "Hey, Heero-kun, what's up?" he asked, noticing the   
surely-not-a-grin on his fellow terrorist's face. "Relena-san get   
killed or something?"  
"Hn," Heero grunted, turning back to his laptop. Translation: "I   
wish, but you're going to be in Hell for the next few days because of   
whatever it is that I'm almost-but-not-quite smiling about." It was   
amazing what Heero could say with a single non-word.  
"Hey, what's that?" the braided Death asked, drop kicking his   
basketball to the other side of the room. Sauntering over to his part-  
time friend, he scanned the text on the screen. Duo's amethyst eyes   
soon found what Heero found so amusing.  
'The girl stole several top secret files; various valuables and   
foods; a game of monopoly and a medical history book on the ancient   
Nerima Virus that had been thrown away due to it's...' Heero skipped   
this part, as it had no interest to him. 'Several surviving guards   
reported her as having long hair pulled back in a braid, violet colored   
eyes, and a petite figure. Numerous other witnesses of both sexes were   
quoted, "She has legs from here to forever and was..." The quote had to   
be edited for propriety, but it could be said that she was a very well-  
endowed young woman. From the drool found near the checkpoints she past   
through easily, one can only assume that the young woman use her large   
bust size and the gifts given to her by God to pass through security   
undetected."  
"They thought I was a GIRL?" Duo shrieked, his voice high pitched   
and feminine. "And for ONCE I..." he trailed off, glance at Heero out   
of the corner of his eye. 'I hope he didn't notice that. I've got to be   
more careful.'  
It was a futile wish, however. Heero had already filed that   
unfinished sentence away for future reference. "Hn." Translation:   
"Wufei-san's hearing about this one."  
"Ah! C'mon, Hee-chan. Don't tell him!"  
Heero grunted, which Duo took to mean, "Sorry, you're shit outta   
luck on this one."  
"We have to get to safe house Bitchin' Bubbles anyway," Heero   
said, shutting down the laptop and grimacing. That had been the first   
and that LAST time he let Duo name ANYTHING. "The principal's getting   
suspicious, and Relena's almost tracked me down again." There was an   
unhealthy green tinge to Heero's skin at the mention of her Royal   
Annoyance, Princess Relena Peacecraft, who also happened to be Earth's   
resident stalker. 'No' was not in her vocabulary. Neither was 'Omae o   
korosu', its English equivalent, attempted suicide to get AWAY from   
her, or 'Go to Hell bitch, and stay there this time!'  
"I'll pack," Duo replied, turning around a pulling a small   
duffle out of his top dresser drawer. Heero watched closely as various   
items of apparel vanished into the bag faster than Heero could see, but   
one of those items suspiciously resembled a bra. Heero made a mental   
note to examine Duo's possessions more closely at a later date.  
Soon, Duo had packed his clothing and had started on the various   
objects he had 'collected' during their stay, including the book on the   
Nerima Virus. When he went to place the volume in his bag, Heero's iron   
grip stopped him.  
The Perfect Soldier firmly took the book from Duo's hands. Duo   
frowned and carefully tucked away a porcelain figurine, watching Heero.  
Heero flipped it open, peering at the page Duo had book marked.   
Several parts were highlighted. Among them were the words genetic   
drift, permanent and Juusenkyou. Once paragraph stood out from the   
others, mainly because Duo had underlined, starred and highlighted it.  
'The change in the human DNA is irreversible. However, after 2037   
AD new cases became rare. After 2041, no new cases were reported, and   
children ceased being infected at birth. It has been suspected that   
children are born with an inactive variant of the 'curse', and are thus   
immune to the virus, which is still in the atmosphere.  
Excerpt from the Journal of Dr. Washuu 2045 AD'  
'What does that baka want with this?' Heero asked himself. The   
Juusenkyou Curse had long ago been relegated to ancient mythology, and   
the Nerima Virus had died out a long time ago. Due to this, he wasn't   
familiar with the effects of the ancient disease. That would have to be   
remedied.  
Duo continued stuffing his belongings into the duffle, slightly   
worried. He had NO idea how much Heero knew about the Nerima Virus. It   
WAS Japanese in origin, and he could NOT afford to have Spandex Boy   
making educated guesses.  
Heero grunted non-committingly laid the book on top of the pile   
of junk in Duo's bag. The braided one rearranged it, then zipped the   
case up, locking it with a small explosive on the zipper and a key-code   
to keep people out of his things. Particularly blue-eyed Japanese   
Gundam pilots who happened to be too curious for Duo's own good.  
Heero nodded silently, recognizing Duo's expression. It was the   
same on he wore when Quatre used the Zero System, or when he had a   
mission. The same look from the time when Trowa had spoken, and when   
Wufei smiled for the first time. It was fear, well hidden, but still   
evident.  
"I'm taking a shower." Duo shut the door behind him.  
Heero looked at the bathroom door wordlessly, and then pulled a   
memo pad and a pen from his shorts. As the sounds of a shower in   
progress began, he made a small note.  
'Juusenkyou? 2? = Nerima Virus'  
  
~Part 1~ (July 12th, AC 195) Genetic Drift  
  
Duo casually flipped through the book he had stolen from Oz.   
They'd arrived at Quatre's mansion, also known as Bitchin' Bubbles, a   
few hours ago. He had long sense unpacked and was wasting the time he   
had before dinner reading up on something that had a person interest.  
'The Nerima Virus is now a permanent change in the genetic code   
of every human being. Luckily for the human race, it is inactive. No   
scientist, myself included, has been able to understand what exactly it   
is that unlocks the effects of the Virus in human beings. And if I, the   
greatest scientific genius and the universe (and Chicago) can't figure   
it out, then no one can.'  
Here, Duo paused to reflect on how the writer, one Dr. Washuu,   
obviously had not pulled her head out of her ass for a while. At the   
time of the Nerima Virus, humanity had known next to nothing about the   
universe; so declaring yourself the greatest ANYTHING in it was just a   
tad conceited.   
'However,' the book continued, 'there is a prevailing theory that   
great stress may activate the virus in a person who carries a near   
active strand of it in their DNA. This is an unproven theory.  
It is also believed that some rare, unlucky (or lucky, depending   
upon one's viewpoint) are born with an active Virus strand in their   
DNA.'  
Duo smirked. In his case, he counted it lucky. The ability to   
turn into a girl had saved his butt more times than he cared to count,   
once he had learned how to use it to his advantage. Of course, he had   
only met one other person with the ability. And if anyone ever found   
out that he could change his sex like most people do clothing... He   
didn't want to think about it. Being able to turn into a girl hadn't   
saved Solo.  
'There was one reported case where the 'curse' became active in a   
person after the virus form of the malady had been reported extinct.   
Earth had lost contact with Jurai, so I was forced to study the case   
with only the materials on hand.'  
Ah, yes, the fabled Planet Jurai, and its inhabitants. Some   
people claimed that Earth had contacted other planets during the Virus   
period of history, but most scholars claimed that this was an effect of   
mass hysteria and hallucinations.  
'In that case, the change from female to male was triggered by   
the flavor of citrus fruits as well as by cold water. This leads me to   
believe that the genetic strand has been evolving rapidly, and will   
continue to do for an unknown amount of time. In future cases, if any   
occur, the change may or may NOT be triggered by water. I am forced to   
conclude-'  
"Duo-kun! DINNER!" Quatre called up the stairs. The book was   
tossed across the room as Duo bolted for the door.  
  
At dinner, Duo ate with his usual vacuum-like intensity. Only   
Wufei noticed the occasional sneaky glances sent his way, and made a   
mental note to watch the braided idiot for trouble. Quatre talked   
merrily throughout the meal, telling them everything they had missed   
while on assignment. Trowa, who was silent (as usual), and Heero   
finished quickly, then excused themselves silently and walked upstairs.   
As this was normal for both boys, no one even bothered to translate   
their polite blinks/grunt. Wufei finished his meal soon after that and   
retired to his room to meditate. Duo happily finished their plates for   
them.   
Quatre soon finished his own meal and went to his office,   
undoubtedly to concentrate on the family business: making money.  
Once Quatre was gone, the servants began to politely clean up the   
table. Duo took the hint and finished the rest of his dinner quickly,   
then moved off to the Gundam hangar. Since everyone was busy, no one   
really noticed that he picked up an unmarked bucket on his way.  
  
Heero's eyebrows lifted until they were no longer visible under   
his bangs. He slowly withdrew his hand from Duo's dresser drawer,   
bringing out...  
A black lace bra and panty set. This confirmed the suspicions he   
had gotten after reading a few passages of the book Duo had stolen:   
'The Nerima Virus: It's Pleasures and Pains' by Dr. Washuu. Now, if he   
could only turn this to his advantage...  
A piercing male scream broke the silence of the Winner Mansion.   
It dies off as Heero ran out the door, pulling a gun from his spandex   
space. It had come from the hangar.  
As Heero raced down the hall, he met up with Quatre, Trowa and   
Duo, the last of which who had a wicked grin on his face.  
"MAXWELL, I'M GOING TO... AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!" There was a   
feminine scream of pure horror.  
When the group entered the Gundam Hangar, the first thing anyone   
noticed was the neon pink pain spread over Shenlong. The second was a   
young Chinese woman in a tank top and the traditional Chinese pants.   
Her long black hair was slicked back into a tight ponytail, and quite a   
bit of her breasts were visible through the sleeves of her shirt. She   
was the source of the screams.  
Reactions to this scene were mixed. Quatre and Trowa stood in   
shocked silence. Heero pointed a gun at the stranger and scanned the   
room for Wufei. Duo, on the other hand, collapsed on the floor with   
laughter.  
"Where's Wufei-san?" Heero asked the girl when she paused to   
breathe. He squeezed the trigger of his gun slightly.  
"I AM WUFEI!" the woman shrieked. "MAXWELL SOMEHOW MANAGED TO   
TURN ME INTO AN ONNA! I WILL have JUSTICE!" She pulled a sword out of   
nowhere and advanced on the giggling God of Death.  
Duo scrambled backwards, still laughing. Wufei-onna stalked him   
until the braided on was against the wall.  
"Wufei-san, I SWEAR I didn't know you were an active carrier!"   
Duo said, no longer laughing.  
Wufei's face turned redder as he- ah, she, raised the sword over   
her head.   
Duo cowered down, whimpering. He was certain that THIS time, he   
was a goner.   
A single bullet passed under Wufei's nose with impeccable   
precision. Heero raised the barrel of his smoking gun, not saying a   
word.  
Quatre took this as his cue, and darted forward to remove the   
weapon from Wufei's grasp. The suddenly reprieved Braided One dodged   
behind Trowa, hiding from the homicidal glint in Wufei's now long-  
lashed eyes. Said Unibang smiled, which made Duo shake with fear even   
more.  
Wufei-onna twitched as she belatedly realized that her sword was   
gone.  
"Duo-san, what did you do?" Heero asked in his usual monotone.  
"I just painted his Gundam pink!" Duo whimpered, still cowering.   
Trowa's grin grew. "I didn't know..." Quatre interrupted.  
"What happened?" he hid the blade behind his back. "How do we   
change him back?"  
Duo clamped his lips shut, having suddenly gone pasty whiter.   
However, a glare of death from Heero changed his mind. "Um, have you   
tried warm water?" Every head turned to look at him, except Heero's,   
who was still watching the scene from behind his gun.  
"So this IS your fault?" Trowa asked, using up his word limit for   
the month. Short though it was, the question was a good one.  
Duo cringed as three people looked at him. Wufei reached for a   
sword that was no longer there.  
"He has experience," Heero said succinctly.   
Duo blushed, and Wufei and Quatre tried a double stereo effect.   
"NANI?"  
Heero looked at Duo meaningfully. As he still hadn't put his gun   
away, the message was clear. 'Tell them or I'll SHOW them... on your   
cold and bloody corpse.'  
Large tears welled up in Duo's purple eyes. His lip trembled as   
he met Heero's steely blue gaze. It was adorable. Incredibly fake, but   
cute nonetheless. "Do I HAVE to?" he didn't even wonder how Heero had   
found out. This was HEERO, after all.  
Duo got a grunt in response. He grimaced and concentrated.   
Suddenly, his usually loose shirt filled out, his already fine facial   
features became downright delicate and his hips took up more space in   
the stirrup pants that he habitually wore. Before the stunned eyes of   
his friend, he became a she. Duo looked up at them through her long   
lashes and grinned cheekily. "Duet Maxwell, at your service." Her voice   
was an elegantly pitched soprano, and very feminine.  
*THUD*  
*THUD*  
*THUD*  
Trowa, Quatre and Wufei hit the floor in nearly simultaneous   
faints.   
  
~Part 2~ (July 13th, AC 195) Trial and Error  
  
Wufei snarled. She was soaking wet, and covered in dirt, various   
fruits juices and foods and even motor oil. So far, nothing they had   
tried had changed her back into a him.  
Heero grunted and crossed his arms. "Any new ideas?"  
Quatre looked up from where he was flipping through the Nerima   
book. "I can't think of anything."  
"..." ///_- We ALL know who said that.  
"MMPH! MOW-BAQHMNT?" Duo bounced in his chair. He'd been tied   
down after a few more disgusting and perverted suggestions.  
Heero walked over and pulled down the gag. Duo quickly spit out   
the sock they'd stuffed in his mouth. "Solo-chan changed every three   
days; he couldn't control it," he said. It was the first helpful thing   
he'd said all day.  
"You mean I may have NO control over when I'm a man or an ONNA?"   
Wufei screamed. A pulse point began to throb on her forehead. "I'm   
going to KILL YOU MAXWELL!" She reached for her sword, hand grasping at   
air. The Sword of Justice had been firmly put away.  
Duo hopped his chair backwards. Everyone tensed up, ready to   
react swiftly if Wufei tried to strangle Duo.  
*DING DONG*  
The doorbell broke the tableau. Everyone relaxed and listened as   
the door was opened. There was a mumbled conversation, then a female   
voice rose above the quiet, shattering it.  
"HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-KUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!"  
Said suicidal spandex boy developed a sudden tic in his left   
cheek as the piercing scream came nearer. Wufei looked around for   
someplace to hide her femininity, but they had cleared the room out   
before beginning their experiments with household items.  
A girl with dark blonde hair ran into the room. Behind her, a   
Maganac stood in the doorway, shrugging helplessly. While Relena was   
glomping Heero, Quatre waved the servant off with an understanding nod.   
Relena had a built in 'Heero Tracking' device. Nothing the man could   
have done would have kept her away.  
"Oh, Heero, I FINALLY FOUND YOU!" Relena squealed tearfully. "I   
was SO WORRIED!" She squeezed tighter. The tic in Heero's cheek became   
more pronounced, and a definite throb began on his forehead. Nothing   
made Heero come closer to enjoying mass homicide then Relena.  
"Omae o korosu," he ground out, turning red as she cut   
circulation off below the waist.  
Relena just giggled. "Go ahead and kill me!"  
"Um, Relena-sama," Quatre began. "We were slightly busy..."  
"Yes?" She looked up with a smile. It soon faded as she took in   
the scene. "Who are THEY?" Jealousy shined in Relena's eyes as she   
raised an eyebrow and looked pointedly at Wufei and Duo, who was still   
tied up. "I wasn't aware that you had FEMALE companions over, Quatre."  
Heero cast a startled glance at Duo. It seemed that in the   
confusion of Relena's entrance, Duo had changed back into a woman for   
some unknown and unknowable reason. The Perfect Soldier looked around   
the room with a critical eye. Duet in a corner, tied down to a chair; a   
female Wufei in a revealing tank top that clung to her due to the   
various slippery substances she was covered in. Everyone but Wufei was   
shirtless. All of them, Duet included, were covered in goop. It did NOT   
look good.  
Duet smiled invitingly and wriggled in her chair, bouncing   
slightly. "Care to play?" Her voice was slightly husky, for a soprano,   
and added the worst possible touch to the scene.  
Relena turned white as she backed away from Heero, who nearly   
collapsed at blood rushed back into his legs. "I- I-" She stuttered,   
trying to hold onto her quickly fleeing sanity. "Heero, how COULD you?"  
Heero gritted his teeth as he lost control and pulled a gun from   
the depths of his spandex. He could take her stalking him, nearly   
getting him killed and even her annoying demands for him to kill her.   
But having her assume that he was just some hentai was just too much.  
*AH-CHOO!* Wufei sneezed as the imperceptible scent of Heero's   
agitation reached her. Her chest deflated as though someone had popped   
a balloon. With eyes widened by hope, Wufei reached down, feeling for   
something.  
"I'm a MAN AGAIN!" he rejoiced.  
Relena didn't waste any time. She turned tail and ran.  
There was a moment of silence. It was almost immediately broken   
by Duet's ecstatic laughter.  
Heero breathed a sigh of relief.  
"I don't think she's coming back." Quatre grinned broadly.  
"..." Guess who? (AN: HINT! ///_-)  
"Hn," Heero thanked Duo for saving his life and sanity, even if   
he had to sacrifice his dignity in the process.  
The heartwarming time of rejoicing was ruined as blue lightning   
crashed through the room. Quatre had just enough time to open his mouth   
to scream before a bright flash engulfed them. In the next instant, all   
five Gundam Pilots had vanished.  
  
~Part 3~ (Day 472 of the Nerima Virus) Mihoshi Strikes Again!  
  
"Washuu-san, will you please explain what we are doing here?"   
Aeka asked, adjusting her kimono.  
"Yea, Washuu-chan, what give- Ryouko-san, get that bucket away   
from me!"  
Ryouko sat the pail of icy water down and nudged it behind a   
table. "I don't know what you're talking about, Tenchi-chan," she said   
innocently.  
"Miya."  
Washuu glared around until everyone was silent. "I have projected   
the statistics for the Virus in the near future. But, because there are   
many factors, it will just be best to be sure that I'm correct."  
"Another time machine, Washuu-san?" Tenchi asked with a long-  
suffering sigh.  
Washuu cast a withering glare at Tenchi. "No, simply a time   
viewing machine," she explained.  
Sasami bounced up to the giant television screen, Ryo-oki   
watching curiously from her usual spot on Sasami's head.  
"Wow! You mean we'll be able to SEE the future?" the little blue-  
haired girl asked with wide strawberry eyes. She and Mihoshi pressed   
their noses against the huge glass screen.  
Ryo-oki, from atop Sasami's head, pressed her cute little nose   
against the glass too. "Miii-ya!"  
Washuu smiled benignly. "Yes, you can see the future. All   
versions of it," she answered. Sometimes, you could almost forget that   
Mihoshi had brought upon them the end of the world as they knew it. But   
then someone would change sexes right in front of you and the moment   
would pass.  
"Really, Washuu-san, did you have to drag us all in here for   
another of your experiments?" Aeka asked haughtily. "Remember what   
happened LAST time Mihoshi-chan was near one of your experiments?"  
Ryouko opened her mouth to argue, even though the purple-haired   
Princess was right. "Now, wait a minute Princess-"  
Tenchi stepped between them, clamping a hand over each mouth.   
"Washuu-san, we're all here, so let's get it over with. OW!" Ryouko bit   
his hand.  
The pink-haired mad scientist turned back to her machine and   
picked up the remote control. She pressed a small red button and the   
screen flipped on. Sasami and Mihoshi jumped back, Ryo-oki barely   
keeping her place.  
"I wanted you all down here for a specific reason," Washuu said,   
brining out a laser pointer. "Is somehow, one of us is dragged through   
time and space again, this is what you'll use to track them down.  
On the screen, a map of the world showed up, with each city   
highlighted in red. Up in the left hand corner was the number 2001. In   
the right hand corner was AD.  
'This is set to track each of our DNA and universal signatures.   
To choose a person to track, you press this." She pushed a blue button,   
and numbered pictures of each of them appeared. She pressed a number on   
the keypad, and image of Washuu's lab materialized.  
Wide eyed, Mihoshi looked around for a camera, and TV Mihoshi   
copied her movements. "Cool!"  
Washuu switched back to the map. "To set the dates, you use the   
number pad." The diminutive scientist demonstrated, setting the date to   
3113. "Use the buttons marked 'BC' and 'AD' to flip back and forth. To   
zoom in on a particular part of the world, use the arcade controller."   
Washuu held up a game controller. "It's so simple, even Mihoshi-chan   
could use it."  
The blonde in question raised her hand. "Can I use it?"  
"NO!" came from everyone in the room, with Ryo-oki adding a   
frightened 'miya!'  
The blonde bombshell pouted. "I didn't MEAN to blow up the house   
last time," she protested.  
"Mihoshi-chan, you never do," Washuu sighed. "Let's see what's   
going on in AD 3113." She clicked view. "It's currently set to locate   
active carriers of the Juusenkyou Curse," she clarified her actions as   
the red square on the screen moved rapidly over the map. It zeroed in   
on a spot and hovered. An image came up.  
"Oh, my, how-"  
"Now THAT'S entertainment!"  
"SASAMI-CHAN! COVER YOUR EYES!"  
The first thing the group saw were the five Gundam people, just   
after Relena left. Aeka covered her own eyes while Tenchi made Sasami   
turn around. While Washuu fumbled with the remote, trying to turn it   
off, Ryouko got a sneaky grin and picked up the bucket of water, ready   
to soak Tenchi during the moment of distraction.  
Mihoshi, just FULL of good intentions, darted forward,   
accidentally kicking Ryouko. "I'll turn it off!" she shouted, grabbing   
the remote from Washuu and pressing random buttons in search of the   
power button.  
Ryouko tottered back and forth, the bucket perched over her head.   
with a shriek, she fell, splashing water over everything. Tenchi,   
Sasami and Aeka glared at her as they switched sexes. Then, everyone's   
attention was brought back to the viewer by a wet sizzle.  
"It wasn't meant to get wet!" Washuu yelled, grabbing the remote   
control from Mihoshi. The screen flickered, glowing a blinding white.  
"It's gonna blow!" Tenchi screamed, grabbing Sasami and pulling   
him down. "DUCK!"  
The light pulsed one final time as everyone hit the dirt. Then,   
it exploded.  
  
~Part 4~ (Day 472 of the Nerima Virus) Meet 'n' Greet  
  
"MAXWELL!"  
"MIHOSHI!"  
The two yells were simultaneous, letting both groups know that   
they weren't alone anymore. Dust was everywhere, obscuring vision.  
Heero narrowed his eyes and drew a gun from his shorts, having   
lost his other one in 'transit'. In the dust, be barely made out a   
figure. Creeping silently towards it, the person became more clear. as   
the dust settled, be poked his gun directly n the back of the purple-  
haired boy.   
"Who are you and what did you do?" he asked calmly, looking   
around. A drenched little boy held an equally wet rabbit. a blonde   
woman with huge blue eyes sniffled in a corner, and a woman who looked   
like she had dunked her hair in pink kool-aid stood near the charred   
and soggy remains of some sort of machine. There were several people   
out of his line of sight, but Heero, perfect soldier that he is) didn't   
turn his head.   
"I don't know HOW she does it!" the pink woman sobbed. "It's just   
DUMB luck I guess."  
"I'll thank you to remove your gun, sir," the boy Heero was   
holding hostage said. "I am a Princes- er, Prince of Jurai." Heero just   
grunted in response.  
"What a week," he heard Quatre sigh behind him.  
The little blue-haired boy moved out of sight. Heero faintly   
heard him pat Quatre's shoulder. "It'll be okay."  
"I'm sorry Washuu-sama," the blonde wailed. "I didn't MEAN to   
blow it up!"  
"It's okay, Mihoshi-chan," Washuu said, looking sadly at the   
remains of the machine. "You never do."  
"Will someone explain what's going on here?" Duo demanded,   
bouncing in his chair. He had changed back into a guy just before the   
dust settled.  
"Hey, let go of Aeka-sama!" A black haired girl appeared out of   
nowhere and tried to take Heero's gun away. Without a sound, Heero   
easily knocked her away.  
*AAAHHH-CHOO!* Wufei sneezed as the various smells of female   
anger reached him. "AAAAAHHHH! NOT AGAIN!"  
A door appeared out of nowhere on the other side of the room. it   
opened. "Washuu-san, I heard an exlo-" The elderly man paused,   
adjusting the thick glasses on his nose as he looked around. "I'll make   
some tea."  
"Someone please explain, before Spandex Boy over there blows your   
friend's head off."  
In the background, Wufei wept like the girl she was.  
  
Heero glared around the room. Tenchi, Aeka and Sasami had changed   
back, but Wufei was trying not to cringe every time she glanced down.   
Duo was looking a bit TOO comfortable with Ryouko. She'd float over   
occasionally and whisper something in his ear, to which Duo would grin   
and whisper back. Like will to like, after all.  
"Can you send us back?"  
You're probably contagious," Washuu explained. 'If you go back,   
the world will be hit with the virus. Again!"  
"We're NEEDED in out time," Quatre explained. One of his arms was   
around Sasami's waist as she sat on his lap, and the other was petting   
Ryo-oki, the spaceship. Luckily, they had been able to explain the   
compromising position they'd been found in.  
"Why aren't any of us on Earth in their time?" Ryouko asked,   
floating over the table. "We should still be alive, even after al that   
time."  
"..." Trowa shrugged.  
"Miya?" Ryo-oki asked, looking worried.  
"We won't think about that!" Washuu declared, slamming her cup of   
tea onto the table. Tenchi ducked out of the way of the droplets, it a   
newly acquired reflex. "It's dangerous to know too much about the   
future! So, no asking big questions why they're staying with us."  
Mihoshi raised her hand. "Can we ask about fashion?"  
"Just use your common sense," Yoshou said calmly, sipping his   
tea.  
"That means that Mihoshi-chan needs to ask someone else," Ryouko   
pointed out.  
"Duo-kun too."  
Duo looked at Heero with puppy dog eyes. "HEERO-KUN! How can you   
SAY that?"  
Heero crossed his arms and glared at the braided one. "It's true.  
"Didn't I get rid of Relena-san for you?" Duo asked, lip   
trembling.  
"He's right, Heero-kun. You should be nicer to him," Quatre said,   
shifting Sasami to his other knee.  
Heero grunted.  
"You too, Wufei-chan."  
Everyone stared at Trowa.  
"He talks?"  
"My WORD!"  
Ryouko floated over to the banged boy. 'So you're NOT mute?" She   
poked him in the forehead. Trowa just blinked.  
The wheels turned in Washuu's mind. 'Hm, I wonder...'  
Washuu jumped up. "May I do experiments on you?"  
Trowa looked at her blankly, seeming to stare straight through   
the pink haired woman.  
Washuu clasped her hands together pleadingly. "PLEASE? I need a   
subject who won't complain, and you're PERFECT! You'll have nothing   
else to do since you're here, so..." Trowa focused on her, but made no   
sign of agreeing. "Please? I PROMISE nothing will go wrong! After   
all..." Washuu held up a finger as a brightly colored background   
appeared out of nowhere, "I AM the Greatest Scientific Genius in the   
Universe!" Chibi Washuu A and Chibi Washuu B popped out of nowhere on   
her shoulders.  
"YEAH! Washuu's the best!" Chibi A cheered!  
"Nothing can POSSIBLY go wrong!" Chibi B agreed.  
Tenchi raised a hand. "But, Little Washuu, didn't something   
jus..." He trailed off as Chibis A and B turned to glare at him with   
evil, red glowing eyes. Tenchi gulped and lowered his hand.  
Trowa was watching the chibis curiously. He made a sting of hand   
symbols.  
The Tenchi gang sweat dropped, and the Gundam people sighed.  
"What did he...?" Ryouko asked, blinking.  
"He passed his limit for the words he's allowed to speak in a   
month," Duo explained helpfully. "When he does that, he resorts to sign   
language.  
Washuu looked around the room. "What did he say?"  
A slight frown appeared on Trowa's face under his hair as he   
repeated the symbols.  
"He says, 'If you'll teach me to do that,'" Quatre translated.  
Washuu looked surprised, as did her chibis. "You mean US?" they   
chorused. Trowa nodded. The chibis looked at Washuu. "Your call," they   
said in unison.  
Washuu considered. Was a WILLING guinea pig worth the time it   
would take her to teach him how to make his OWN chibis appear? "I'll DO   
IT! You'll learn it tomorrow, after my first experiment!"  
Trowa blinked, looking thoughtful. Then she shrugged and nodded.  
Washuu grabbed Trowa by the hand and dragged him off to her lab,   
chibis cheering all the way. "We'll be out for breakfast!"  
"Washuu,' Yoshou stated calmly. "Before you begin, will you   
please set up some rooms for our guests?"  
"OKAY!" she called back, never stopping to look back. Trowa   
looked blank as he was dragged out of the room.  
"Should we be worried for him?" Duo asked Ryouko.  
"Yes," she answered bluntly. "Yes you should."  
  
~Part 5~ (Virus Day #475, Day #3 of the G-boys stay) Chaos Reigns  
  
Everyone gathered into the kitchen for breakfast. They gathered   
around the table sleepily, sitting near whoever they happened to grab a   
chair by. Among the large group of people, Heero, Trowa and Quatre   
looked miserable. They were well into the 'flu' stage of the virus.  
"Ow wong ubtil we hange?" Quatre asked stuffily.  
Trowa blinked all three of his eyes, and his brand new chibis   
popped up; two on his shoulders and one on his head.  
"Yeah, how long?" CTA (Chibi Trowa A) asked, while CTB just   
stared at CTC.  
"Washuu-chan, can you make him go away?" CTB asked, pointing at   
the third chibi. CTC was curled up in a little ball on Trowa's head,   
obviously a vegetable.  
Washuu's chibis popped up. "HEY!" CWA (Chibi Washuu A) protested.  
"She didn't know that you have as many chibis as you do eyes!"   
CWB chimed in.  
"Don't worry, Trowa-chan," Washuu added. "I'll have it taken care   
of in no time at all." Trowa just nodded, carefully so as not to upset   
the vegetable chibi.  
"I wish they wouldn't do that," Duo sighed, digging into his   
food.  
Wufei, now male, nodded. "For once, I agree with you, Maxwell-  
san."  
"Where's they syrup?" Mihoshi asked, looking around.  
"I'm sorry, Mihoshi-chan, we ran out," Sasami said, patting   
Mihoshi on the shoulder.  
"No syrup on pancakes?" Mihoshi asked, big fat tears plopping   
down to hit the table.  
Wufei's eyes widened. "NO!" He jumped up and ran out of the room,   
trying to escape the inevitable.  
The silence in the kitchen was broken by a loud sneeze in the   
living room.  
"KIIIISAAAAAAAMAAAAAA!"  
Ryouko smiled and held up the pitcher. "More juice anyone?"  
  
(Virus Day #476, G-Boy's stay #4)  
  
Trowa looked at Washuu questioningly. She blinked her eyes,   
having lost the third one. Various machines were hooked up to her pulse   
points.  
Washuu smiled cutely up from her computer at the banged girl   
hanging upside down in a vat of green gel. "Would you repeat that?" she   
asked. "I wasn't looking."  
Trowa obligingly blinked again.  
"Oh," Washuu nodded. "Yes, it is Jell-O. Thank you, it's my own   
recipe." She grinned and turned back to her computer.  
Trowa nodded, content with this answer.  
  
(Virus Day 478, G-Boy's stay #6)  
  
Duet had her full Shinigami grin on as she crept up to the   
women's bathtub. Ryouko was working as her lookout, but she still had   
to hurry. Carefully, Duet dropped the grape kool-aid powder into the   
bubble bath bottle. She paused as a sharp whistle alerted her to   
someone's approach.  
Quickly, she swirled the powder into the bubble bath, hoping that   
it would dissolve fast. Screwing on the cap, she set it down and   
vanished out of sight. The door to the women's bath opened as Sasami,   
Aeka and Mihoshi came in. Silently, Duet slipped out the door before it   
vanished.  
Reappearing, Duet changed back into Duo. "Thanks for teaching me   
that invisibility trick, Ryouko-chan."  
Ryouko grinned and slapped him on the shoulder. "Always happy to   
help!"  
"How long until they notice?"  
She looked at a nonexistent watch on her wrist. "I give them a   
half-hour."  
Duo nodded. "Up for some monopoly?"  
(A Half Hour of Monopoly Later)  
"RYOUKO! DUO!" Aeka came storming out of the bathroom, skin as   
purple as her hair. In the background, Mihoshi and Sasami giggled.  
"Wow, Mihoshi-chan, that's a pretty color on you!"  
"I LOVE what it did to your hair, Sasami-chan!"  
The two mischief-makers grinned at each other. "SCORE!"  
In the background, there was a newly-feminine scream. "DAMN YOU   
MAXWELL!"  
  
(Virus Day #480, G-Boy's stay #8)  
  
A female Heero and Quatre ganged up on Washuu, backing her into a   
corner.   
"FIX THAT MACHINE!"  
"I'm working on it!" Washuu yelled, glaring at them. "Geeze!"  
  
(Virus Day #481, G-Boy's stay #9)  
  
"Can you PLEASE get her down, Heero-chan?" Sasami pled. She was   
waging war against her with a weapon Heero had no idea even existed   
before now. She was using cuteness, and Heero's defenses crumbled.   
"Ryouko-chan and Duo-kun chased her up there, and now she scared to   
come down!" Sasami glomped Heero, who noticed that it was much harder   
to resist her while female. "PLEASE?"  
With a grunt, Heero pulled a small handgun from her slacks. She   
had forsaken her usual spandex and tank top because Wufei kept having   
nosebleeds. Now she wore a pair of black slacks and a green Support T   
that strongly resembled her old tank top.  
Narrowing her eyes, Heero looked up at Ryo-oki. The treed cabbit   
clutched her limb desperately. Before Sasami could stop her, Heero   
aimed and pulled the trigger.   
"NO!" Sasami screamed, covering her eyes.  
Everything was silent. Then, a slight break appeared in the   
branch as it bent at the base. The movement startled the cabbit, who   
lost her hold and slid off, falling into Heero's arms.  
"Here." Gently, the homicidal, suicidal, trigger happy lunatic-  
turned-woman handed Sasami the cabbit. Turning, she walked back into   
the house.  
'Damned maternal instincts.'  
  
(Virus Day #485, G-Boy's stay #14)  
  
Wufei hid in his room, cowering under the blankets. He was a far   
cry from the proud and strong man of Justice that he used to be.  
"Damned Onnas; there is no Justice. Damned Onnas; there is no   
Justice..." It was a mantra that he'd been repeating for the last two   
hours.  
"RYOUKO! You give me back my towel NOW, you demonic old HAG!"   
Someone ran past his door.  
"Make me, PRINCESS!" Someone else ran past his door, screaming   
out her frustration.  
Inside the room, Wufei sneezed. "NNNOOOOOOOOOOO!" She whimpered   
and dug deeper into her blankets.  
  
(Virus Day #489, G-Boy's stay #18)  
  
Quatre sat at the kitchen table. Breathing a sigh of relief, she   
raised her teacup to her lips and sipped. She hadn't had a moment to   
herself since she had changed.  
The peace was shattered by a yell of, "Omae o korusu!" A black   
and chestnut blur ran by, followed closely by a black and green blur,   
this one gun totting.  
"It was just a joke!" Duo yelped, dodging behind a table.   
Heero glared at Duo, giving the boy her worst 'Glare of Death'   
(TM). "Freezing my water bra?" Heero demanded in a calm, even voice.   
"That is not a joke; that is a declaration of war." She dived across   
the table, aiming her gun and firing.  
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Duo screamed as the cold,   
red colored water hit her squarely between the eyes.  
"MY TEA!" Quatre cried as her tea cup flew in the air, spilling   
hot tea all over the blonde girl.  
Everything in the room came to a stop. Quatre look down, amazed.   
"Quatre-kun, you changed!" Duo cheered loudly.  
A goofy smile came over Quatre's face as he realized that he was   
indeed male again. Some of the thought's he'd been getting while   
female... It truly scared him. "I'm not a girl anymore!"  
Duo grinned evilly and pulled out a water gun. A stream of purple   
water hit Quatre in the chest, turning him back into a girl.   
"Correction: You WEREN'T a girl anymore."  
A low growl formed in the blonde Arab's throat. It broke through   
his lips just as Trowa entered the room, her hair standing on end and   
smoking slightly from Washuu's experiments. here banged girl looked at   
the scene and blinked. Then, silently, she passed Quatre the small box   
she was holding. Inside was a water gun and several rounds of blue   
ammo.  
"Thank you," Quatre smiled at her friend. "How did you know?"  
Trowa just shrugged and raised her own water gun, green water   
loaded and ready,  
Quatre nodded. "CHARGE!" The war began.  
  
Once again, everyone was gathered in Washuu's lab. They were all   
died various colors from he water fight, even Aeka and Ryouko. Red,   
green, blue, orange, purple and various other colors dripped off of the   
motley group. The most prominent color, however, was pink.  
Washuu smiled lovingly at her machine water-gun and put it away.  
"Now, is everyone ready to go?" the mad scientist asked, looking   
around. Everyone who could had been able to change back into their   
original sex, but that still left Trowa and Heero a women. hey,   
however, had no objection to returning home as females, so there were   
no objections from the Gundam Pilots.  
Sasami dashed over to Quatre and glomped him. "Don't go! I'll   
miss you!" she cried, burying her tear streaked face in his shirt.  
Quatre knelt down and hugged the multicolored little girl. "We'll   
miss you too, Sasami-chan, but people need us back home."  
Sasami sniffled, holding him tighter. "But I need you here!" she   
sniffled. "You still haven't taught me how to dance, or how to bake   
that cake..."  
Wufei sneezed and changed into a girl. Opening her mouth to   
curse, she snapped it shut again as several female eyes glared at her.   
Wufei had FINALLY learned the true power of women; that and how to watch   
his/her mouth. After all, turning into a girl when women got upset; and   
vice versa with male agitation; was the best teacher a person could   
get.  
"Sasami-chan, I HAVE to go." Quatre gave her one last hug before   
standing up and taking his place next to Trowa as Number Zero Four;   
Pilot of Sandrock. Sasami started crying even harder, turning to hug   
Tenchi.  
"Bye, Duo-kun, it was fun," Ryouko said, as though it was no big   
deal. But tears were glittering in her golden eyes.  
"We will miss you, boys," Yoshou said, nodding good bye. Nobuyuki   
nodded as well, too choked up to say anything.  
Mihoshi was bawling. "We'll ALWAYS remember you guys!" she   
wailed, glomping Heero, who glared, but hesitantly hugged back.  
"Actually, you won't," Washuu corrected.  
"Excuse me?" Aeka asked. It was the first thing she'd said since   
being drenched with ice cold pink water, which still dripped off of her   
slightly grape kool-aid colored skin.  
Washuu sighed and held up another machine, this one palm sized.   
"We can't take a chance with muddling the time line," she explained.   
"So I'm going to erase all of our memories." She put the device back   
from wherever it had come from.  
"You mean we won't remember any of this?" Tenchi asked. Washuu   
nodded somberly, and Mihoshi and Sasami began crying harder.  
"Good bye," Aeka said properly. "Please do not forget us."  
Duo grinned, but there was a sad shadow behind it. "Bye,   
everyone. We'll look you up when we get there."  
"If we're still alive," Mihoshi hiccuped, which made Sasami cry   
louder. Even Ryo-oki looked teary-eyed.  
"Good bye." Quatre waved slightly, while Trowa, Wufei and Heero   
just nodded.  
Washuu sniffled and wiped away a tear. "Okay, boys, in the marked   
square please." She pointed to a large area that had been taped off. "I   
hope none of you are still contagious, because decontamination won't   
work on the Virus, for some unknown reason..." Washuu grumbled a bit,   
piqued that there was something she couldn't figure out. "I'd wait   
until I was certain, but we can't take any more risks with the time   
line than we have to."  
The pilots stepped into the square, and Washuu turned on a   
revised edition of her Time Viewer, which vaguely resembled a beam   
cannon. "This will put you right back where you were. Say cheese!" here   
was a flash of blue light, and the Gundam people vanished.  
Sasami sniffled. "I'm going to miss them."  
Washuu put the Memory Wiper onto the floor, pressed something and   
ran back to the group. "No you won't." She turned just as the flash   
went off.  
Tenchi blinked. "Washuu-chan, what did you do?" he asked   
accusingly. "We WERE over there."  
Sasami wiped her eyes. "Why am I crying?" She glanced at the   
clock. "Oh, no, I have to make dinner!"  
Everyone filed out of the lab. Sasami paused; it felt like   
someone was missing. She just shrugged it off and turned back around to   
go.  
Though Sasami had forgotten, the part of her that was Tsunami   
hadn't. And inside of Sasami, Tsunami was still crying for her friends.  
  
~Epilogue 1~ (July 13th, AC 195) Back to the Beginning  
  
Quatre sighed, draped across a chair. It had taken him forever to   
get the others to their rooms without the Maganacs seeing them. And the   
LAST thing he needed was pressure to marry, and having girls in the   
house secretly would surely bring that on.  
The doorbell rang. Quatre glanced at the clock. It was nearly   
midnight, so he might as well answer it himself. With a groan, the   
blonde boy pulled himself to his feet and opened the front door.  
Relena stood on the steps, chin in the air. "Oh, I'm sorry. I was   
expecting Rashid-san to answer," she said stiffly, face pale. "If   
you'll just give this to Yuy-san, Winner-san, I'll be on my way." The   
Peacecraft Princess pressed a note into his hand and walked off.  
"Wait!" Quatre called after her, but Relena ignored him. He shut   
the door and sighed. 'Well, at least Heero-chan will be happy,' he   
thought, looking at the note.  
Trudging back to his room, Quatre looked at the clock again.   
"MIDNIGHT? And we have a mission tomorrow!" He collapsed against the   
wall. "What a day!"  
  
(July 14th, AC 195)  
  
Relena sniffled as she got out of bed. She pressed the back of   
her hand to her forehead. "I must be coming down with a cold."  
  
~Epilogue 2~ (July 21st, AC 195) Old Friends  
  
Quatre backed Sandrock up more. The base had been destroyed. but   
all five of them had sustained heavy damage. It looked like there was   
no way out, short of self destructing  
Breathing a short prayer to Allah, Quatre opened his com-link.   
"Be ready to run, I'll clear them..." He trailed off as something   
dropped down front he sky and blasted a path clear for the pilots.  
A beam of blue light appeared on the freshly turned soil. In the   
glow, a hologram of a beautiful woman with turquoise hair and lage red   
eyes appeared. "Need some help?" she asked, the sound carrying over   
their coms.  
Quatre grinned and dropped the detonator. "We sure do!" he   
yelled. "Thanks, Sasami-chan!"  
The hologram nodded and vanished. A loud whoop came over the   
intercom.  
"WOO-HOO! Shinigami's gonna take you back to Hell!"  
"Ryouko!" Tenchi sighed in the background, just as Duo called,   
"Hey, that's MY line!"  
Quatre smiled and began fighting with a braver heart. It looked   
like things weren't going to be normal again anytime soon, and he   
wouldn't have it any other way.  
  
In the Sanc kingdom, Princess Relena began the first in a long   
series of sneezes.  
~OWARI~  
  
NOTE: Someone wondered (in a review) how the Tenchi gang got into the future. ^^;; I kind of thought that this went without saying, considering that Sasami's grown up into Tsunami, but I'm the author, so things that are clear to me probably make no sense to you guys. I may not know what I'm thinking, but I have a better idea of the storyline than you do. Actually, they're *not* from the past. The Tenchi gang are from the current time period. Remember, Earth lost all contact with other planets, even to the point of thinking that the "supposed discovery" of intelligent life on othetr planets was a result of the mass hysteria and not an actual historical fact. So just because Tenchi and the others aren't mentioned in *Earth* history doesn't mean that something happened to them and they all died, even though there's a lot of worry about that.   
  
I don't know *exactly* what happened (maybe I'll write a fic to cover it later), but basically they were off planet for several centuries, and when Sasami turned into Tsunami, she got her memories back. Because of the problems of paradox, the end of all existence and such, because the Gundam guys obviously didn't know who they were when the first meeting occurred, they didn't go meet back up with their friends until after they guys got back from the past. If I recall my Tenchi cannon correctly, Yoshou was well over 700 years old when the series started, and his actual form looked quite young. Due this, I made an educated guess that the group wouldn't have died of old age yet. I hope that clears things up. 


End file.
